The last blog kind of ended on a cliff-hanger. Sadly, though this continuation does not have a happy outcome, indeed matters only got worse.
My sister Lynda passed away. Not the ending anyone wanted but it ended her suffering. Karen & I both managed to get over Covid in time to see her in hospital before she died. I’m glad I did but it wasn’t my sister as I remember or how I want to remember her.
Lynda was always a rock in my life. She was almost 18 years old when I was born and even as a very small child, I always felt she was like she was my second Mum, a role that seemed to take on greater significance when we did eventually lose Mum 28 years ago. She was always there for me as she was for everyone in the family. Her biggest legacy is the way she raised her own family who all rallied around her and Tony unfailingly when it was needed the most. They are all a credit to her. I am writing this on a plane at 40000ft with tears rolling down my face, remembering the happier times.
We lost Lynda on the Thursday. Later that same day, Karen asked me to go with her to see her Mum to try to distract me and to get my opinion on her health as her condition had been deteriorating fast. Mother-in-law had now been refusing food & drink for several days as the dementia gradually tightened its grip over her. The Care Home were also unable to get any of her medication into her. Karen spoke to her non-stop bravely for 30 minutes. Although she seemed awake there was little or no response.
That evening we took the decision to ask Karen’s siblings to travel down as we were not sure their Mum would hold on much longer. They both arrived on the Sunday and all three of her spent almost 4 hours together by her bedside. It was almost as if she had just hung on until her children were all together with her as she then passed away peacefully the following morning.
Still numb from losing Lynda we now had to inform family and friends about this second death. It also seemed so very surreal.
Karen threw herself into funeral arrangements for her Mum as her way of dealing with it all. Our boys both wanted to do the eulogy between them for their Nanny and worked on that whilst I was tasked with coming up with a slide show.
The funerals were held on consecutive days which was tough. We got through them both. There were good turnouts at both and although a sad reason to do so it was good being able to catch up with extended family on all sides.
Our boys did themselves and their Nanny proud with their Eulogy. It was very brave of them to get up and say the words.
Karen and I were both physically and emotionally exhausted for a couple of days afterwards and this trip we are now starting almost just crept up on us. It hadn’t helped that during the same period we had two lots of builders seemingly everywhere in the house at the same time. We had arranged for solar panels to be fitted and the conservatory roof replaced with a proper roof. Not the best of timings but we got through it.
I did not enjoy the painting of the new vaulted conservatory ceiling afterwards, especially when in a slapstick comedy moment, I stepped off the step ladder and put my foot completely in the pot of white emulsion.
Then I had the saga of trying to install and then get working Neil’s new Ring Alarm system. Inadvertently I had caused many of the problems myself by buying the system last year for him in the USA which I now know operates on a different wave frequency to the UK. However, in the end after a few replacements and many visits I got it all working.
What little other time we had meant a few trips to the Theatre Royal (best was Come from Away) and I saw ‘Norwich – A Love Story’ at the Playhouse which I would highly recommend. An intriguing mix of poems about Norwich followed by a 45-minute monologue of a Love Story set in and about Norwich.
Football has been good and getting better. The feel-good factor is back at Carrow Road.
Despite having just got over Covid we both had our next Covid & Flu jabs which as normal made Karen feel under the weather for the next 24 hours.
We had our 42nd wedding anniversary which we marked by going to Stoke Mill where we enjoyed their set menu offer with added free bubbles and free cake from the venue to mark the occasion.
We just about found time to meet up with some friends and family other than at funerals. I was also grateful to Andy who made many visits to kindly restored the top of the old radiogram for us
Through catching up with relatives on both sides of the family that we haven’t seen for years we have been given copies of many photos of relatives some of which are over 100 years old. It is proving a challenge to try and put names to many of the faces and then work out our relationship to them. There has been a lot of detective work taking place. My tip to everyone would be to write names on the back of any original photos you have or name any scans appropriately – someday someone will be grateful to you for that.
With all this we felt guilty that we hadn’t made more of Barry & Ellie’s engagement but they were very understanding.
And so, to this trip, our ‘annual’ November trip to Florida. We almost just need it as a reset to our lives. This was though booked last December. A few days on the west coast before we collect Neil from Orlando airport on Saturday for 2 weeks in Kissimmee. Nicely timed not only because we need it but it coincides with another Football international break meaning we only miss one game at Carrow Road.
The quote from Lady Julian of Norwich seems an appropriate way to end this blog.
‘All will be well and All will be well and All manner of thing will be well.’
