Incipit Adversus
For the non-Latin readers that means a bad start to something. 2025 was certainly Incipit Adversus for us. And so now though Meliora Spectamus – we look forward to better things.
Before getting entrenched in the detail of all that has happened, Latin is a subject that I would really like to have learnt or to learn. That along with the Piano and Plumbing. One day I will start ticking them off.
So, where had I left the story so far….
We had cancelled our New Zealand trip due to my foot problems and booked a relaxing Caribbean cruise instead. A few days into this Karen started to suffer with knee and hip pain which got worse as the trip went on.
I had dropped Karen at A&E at the N&N on the way home from Heathrow, where she was diagnosed with a displaced patella and had returned home.
That diagnosis proved to be very wrong. They had only looked at Karen’s symptoms and not the root cause. Her pain got progressively worse on a daily basis. Through various medical appointments (including 7 in one week) she then ended up taking a dangerous cocktail of Naproxen, Diazepam and Codeine. Still nothing was easing her pain. She was unable to lay down and slept fitfully upright on a chair.
I have never seen anyone is as much pain and I found it very distressing not being able to do anything to relieve it.
We were being sent round in circles by both the NHS and our private insurers. Now I can work a process but neither of them was fit for purpose nor helpful for Karen’s predicament.
In the end it was my osteopath who first diagnosed the problem when he agreed to see Karen during my appointment slot. He correctly located the cause in her back as something pressing on her femoral nerve. Of course, this set off the worries of what that something could be.
I took over speaking on her behalf to our Health Insurers. I was calm but firm and told them of my disappointment at their broken processes and the run around we had been set on. They agreed and made an appointment to see the top consultant Mr Rai at Spire Hospital the next day. He immediately sent her for a MRI scan on her back and as soon as he had seen the results arranged for urgent surgery at his next theatre slot the following week. In the meantime, he added Gabapentin for the next week to her other cocktail of drugs to try and bring some temporary relief (it didn’t).
The planned discectomy turned into a double discectomy as when he operated as the problem was worse than the scan showed. She had her discs severely trimmed back in between her L3/4 and L4/5 joints. The femoral nerve was being severely compressed by them and was very inflamed.
She was a poorly old thing for the next 24 hours but then seemed to perk up for her first day at home. After that though the anaesthesia wore off completely and she was not in a good place. I struggled to get her up and moving each day. It is not too much of an exaggeration to say that Karen is not always the easiest of patients and certainly the myriad of drugs that were now spacing her out and slurring her speech were although helping with the pain were not helping her general well-being. Fortunately, trusty sister-in-law Maureen came to the rescue and was a godsend in helping us both cope for those first few days.
Gradually though slowly day by day and then week by week we could see improvements in her health and movement. Just as well as it was costing me a fortune in trying to take her somewhere different every day for a coffee. Secretly I gradually started parked further and further away from the entrance to get her to build up her walking.
Karen has however been very diligent in doing her prescribed exercises taking more than an hour most days doing them and the physio’s have been very impressed with her determination and improvement. She still lacks some confidence in walking long distances and in removing the last of the painkillers. However pain is a very individual thing, and I think her threshold is maybe lower than mine and all I can try to do is encourage her in a positive way.
The latest issue is that the Hospital appear to have used old fashioned stitches and not the absorbable ones we were told. We wondered why the ‘scab’ was not healing after 6 weeks and this week the Hospital realised and got a nurse to finally remove them. Hopefully the wound will now heal itself properly, and it will be all forward from now on, although the nerve will take months to fully recover.
In the meantime, we are still awaiting the first NHS referral to have her problem assessed by a Physio. We believe from when that takes place the earliest the operation would be scheduled for is in 10 months time. To quote Karen she would not have coped for another week with the pain. We appreciate how fortunate to have the health insurance and feel so sorry for those without it.
And thank you for asking – my own foot problem is slowly getting better. It has rightly been kind of on the back burner and at times out of necessity I have not been able to right thing for it with mu 24/7 nursing duties. But it is hopefully getting there, and I am waiting my appointment with the NHS for my own customised orthotics which will hopefully help long term (as this is not covered by our health insurance).
To keep myself busy I also finally published the ‘book’. To no fanfare and no real excitement. Just relief that I managed to finally do it. It took me days to work out how to get it in the correct format to self-publish on Amazon. Sales are low but I didn’t do it for that nor self-publicity. I set the price so that I receive no royalties as I didn’t want anyone to think I did it for profit. I just wanted Mum & Dad’s story recorded.
Perhaps if I have a couple of regrets is that the cover ended up not being how I really wanted it, but I was not clever enough to manipulate the format enough to meet the format Amazon dictated. I also decided not to pay for a professional copy editor/proofreader. It would have been a decent four figure sum. I could not justify the extra expense for what some will still consider a vanity project. There is grammar, spelling and other mistakes that I should have corrected before publishing (just like this blog). But heigh-ho, those who have been brave enough to read it have seemingly (or politely) liked the story. And most importantly I have lodged a copy in the British Library which it will remain in perpetuity.
Needless to say, our planned trip back to Florida was cancelled as were other trips to London and other places. Karen spent some of her initial recovery days watching more travel programmes which have resulted in us booking a few other future trips to make up for ‘lost’ time.
Early during her recovery, we went to Anglesey Abbey to see the spring bulbs. Karen made it all the way round, but I think we did have to stop at every single bench. Also, it was one of her first outings without a stick which although really positive did nothing to help my back problems as she pressed down firmly on me instead.
This photo shows the evidence from my statement during this time that I wouldn’t shave again until Karen was able to make me a cup of tea. I think I made 383 in a row before she was fit enough to do so and at which point I went and removed the shaggy Santa Claus beard.
More recently though we have had a few nice meals out and been to the Football and the Theatre a couple of times.
And all through this the upcoming trip to Dublin had been approaching. Karen had determined her aim was that she would be fit enough for this. I said I wouldn’t go unless she was able to walk through Stansted security to the Lounge without stopping and at a normal’ish pace. So that has been her target as she didn’t want to let her brother down who was coming with us.
He travelled down from York the night before and Karen was pleased to see him and share her ‘battle’ stories with him.
Let’s see how the next few days pan out in good old Dublin – to be sure.
