This morning I waited for Eggs Benedict for both of us and they were up to usual the high standard. As the ship was docked for the day and the tour, I had booked wasn’t due to start until 12.30pm we wandered up to the Crow’s Nest coffee lounge to get some drinks and chill for a while.
Overnight we had cruised the short 29 miles to the British territory of Tortola, or BVI as the locals know it. We were expecting to find orderly queues everywhere, M&S, Sainsburys and loyal pictures of Judi Dench. We saw none of these today, although we did pass a massive building called the Department of Disaster Management which is what we should probably call County Hall.
Whist having our hot drinks, I had been exchanging messages with Graham who is still in South Africa when he and Jo decided to Facetime us. It was lovely to see them as such and the beautiful Hotel they were staying in the wilderness of the Western Cape. It was great to catch up on our trips even if it appeared I had a halo on my head from the light behind whilst talking to them. Isn’t technology great that we can see each and other and speak across the continents?
After collecting our packed rucksack, we were taking out for the day we headed off ship onto BVI land for the first time. The weather again but stunning but if anything starting to venture onto the too hot side with it being 28c.
For the first time this trip there were a few nice shops at the end of the pier albeit with stupidly marked up tourist prices for nick knacks that will just end up in a skip at some point.
I had booked the tour independently today not only because of the price but because it didn’t involve going on another boat or zip lines. It was the mountain scenic tour with a beach stop which I correctly figured out we could not easily do with a taxi.
Again, I hated having to wait and line up but fortunately there were only 5 other people on our tour and they are seemed normal enough. We had a large modern minibus that had aircon that at least tried to work.
The roads up the mountain were interesting with the local wildlife of goats and chickens to be avoided around every corner. Damien our driver and guide was from Trinidad but was very knowledgeable about BVI. Everything here must be imported and yet they export nothing. The only industry is tourism and offshore banking. Everyone here is a British citizen yet the currency is the US Dollar. All rather strange and even after reading up on it I was still not sure why the UK still maintains a presence here nor could I easily dtermine how much it costs us annually to do so.
Anyhow the views from the stops we had in the mountains were lovely. My one disappointment was that we could not actually see Neckar Island as it was too far away.
Eventually we made our way down to Cane Garden Bay which is supposedly the nicest beach on the island. It was OK I suppose but offered very little beach and even less shade. We heard that there was also a large drop from the shore to much deeper water. As we were only stopping here for 1 hour, we found a dead palm tree for me to sit and lean against to watch the view.
Now like much of the rest of the island, the bay was still recovering from Hurricane Irma in 2017 which had destroyed much of the buildings and infrastructure. One of the buildings that still flattened was Stanleys Waterside Bar that we now sat outside. I thought this was a shame as Jimmy Buffet said that when his yacht was moored in the bay it was the smell of Cheeseburgers cooking from here wafting out to his boat that inspired him to write ‘Cheeseburger in Paradise’. Cabbage Key in Florida disputes this fact but this was where Jimmy described his original inspiration coming from. I was disappointed that there was no reference to this anywhere nor did our guide mention it.
Randomly after this we were taken up to a mountain view café to get a free drink. Given the heat of the day everyone opted for a bottle of water. The mountain view café though had no view at all and had clearly seen better days. Karen still bought a BVI Christmas ornament. The owner had some second-hand books on display he was selling including Delia’s Summer Cooking which made me smile. I already regret not buying the battered Virgin Islands registration plate for the hot tub ‘wall’.
Back on board we went to the Dutch café where we ordered teas and cold coke to go with our late snacks for lunch. This was followed by more frozen banana daiquiris out on deck just to keep our hydration levels up.
We went into dinner slightly later and were sat immediately. Our waiters tonight who took our orders without really listening and I correctly predicted after repeating myself twice got them wrong. We coped and the food was fine.
Now I have avoided mentioning one other person on the cruise as I don’t want to cause offence or have this blog cancelled by the woke police. I don’t intend offence in that way at all. Anyhow tonight the person we have christened half man half biscuit was sat quite close to us. He is clearly a man. Karen says he walks like a man and has man’s arms. Yet he wears the most outlandish female clothes and wig. The platinum blonde wig is enormous in all directions and stretches down almost to his knees. I understand drag queens who wear immaculate make up are making characterises of themselves as women. They make a real art of it. `However this person wears loads of make up like a drunk upset Hollywood scarlet. I know nothing about make up but even I could apply it better and certainly without all the smudges.
Wherever this person enters the room, everyone stares. Now it may be the effect he is after but hearing the remarks from others I don’t know if he knows people are laughing at him rather than taking glory in his self-expression. He means no harm but I feel sorry for him but wish one of his friends he is with would reach out and help in some way.
Well tonight was this person’s birthday and as is the want in The Dining Room many of the waiters gathered to sing to him a song in Indonesian. Presumably this is a birthday song. This can happen several times over the evening to different people. The trouble is no one other than the waiters know what the translation of the song is. So over the course of this trip, I think I have worked it out. I reckon it goes something like this ‘Lets sing to another fat rich rude old tourist, lets feed them some cake and watch them eat it until they explode!’
Half man half biscuit loved the attention though and I suspect he may have another birthday before the end of the cruise.
After Karen had her cold cup of tea replaced with a hot one we walked or hobbled in my case the very other end of the ship to watch tonight’s show presented by the Ships company. It started slowly but improved when they finished with songs that were less than 50 years old.
Karen wanted one more drink before retiring that we took in the quiet for the night piano bar. I had had enough so declined. After this we went to bed exhausted. We might need a holiday to get over this holiday.
